Darkly funny, brutally honest, and dripping with self-restraint. The “I’ve Cooked for People I Should Have Poisoned — So Yes, I Do Have Self Control” T-shirt is for anyone whose patience deserves a medal.
Perfect for sarcasm lovers, stress survivors, and people who keep it together against all odds, this tee turns dark humor and inner discipline into a laugh-out-loud statement. It’s dramatic, exaggerated, and absolutely relatable.
• Soft, comfortable fabric for all-day wear
• Relaxed, unisex fit
• Durable, high-quality print
• Ideal for casual wear or gifting someone whose self-control is truly heroic
| Size guide |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
| Length (inches) |
28 |
29 |
30 |
31 |
32 |
33 |
| Width (inches) |
18 |
20 |
22 |
24 |
26 |
28 |
| Chest (inches) |
34–37 |
38–41 |
42–45 |
46–49 |
50–53 |
54–57 |
