Darkly funny, savage, and unapologetically honest. The “I’ve Cooked for People I Should Have Poisoned… So Yes, I Have Self Control” T‑shirt is for anyone whose patience is legendary—and slightly dangerous.
Perfect for sarcasm lovers, dark humor enthusiasts, and anyone who appreciates a cheeky twist on restraint, this tee turns everyday self-control into a laugh-out-loud, bold statement.
• Soft, breathable fabric for all-day comfort
• Relaxed, unisex fit for effortless casual wear
• Durable, high-quality print that keeps the humor sharp
• Ideal for casual outings, dinner parties, or proudly surviving people you almost wanted to harm
| Size guide |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
| Length (inches) |
28 |
29 |
30 |
31 |
32 |
33 |
| Width (inches) |
18 |
20 |
22 |
24 |
26 |
28 |
| Chest (inches) |
34–37 |
38–41 |
42–45 |
46–49 |
50–53 |
54–57 |
